Holiday Hullabaloo!...perspectives and insights shared by Amanda

It's that time again! Holiday season! No matter what holidays you and yourfamily celebrate this year, all gatherings are bound to include lots of family, food, and happy memories to be made. But if you are like my husband and I, you may feel a little anxiety over the foods (safe vs.unsafe, cross contamination) and the family members (how to explain PI and how to enforce food rules in order to keep everyone safe!).


I hate feeling this way-- I really do. I grew up with a huge extended family (my daughter is the 40th great-grandchild and there are 10 moreafter her, more to come as well) and holidays were such an amazing time--lots of gatherings, fun, food, family. Everyone was always included!  Although Bridget's list of safe foods is slowly growing, we are still actively avoiding at least 20+ foods due to former reactions, patch testfails, and/or a highly allergenic nature, not counting all of the foods that we have yet to trial. Many of the foods we are avoiding are big staples-- wheat, dairy, soy, egg, etc etc. So what is a mama (or daddy) to do? This is also our first holiday season back in the states since 2007,so we really want to see family and enjoy all of the get-togethers. We have a plan:
For every gathering, we will have a quick and simple way of briefing everyone at the party about Bridget's food concerns. We will keep it simple and to the point-- no one other than * insert safe people's nameshere * will give ANY food or drink to Bridget. No one will share any utensils or cups with her. In case anyone sees her eat something off of the floor or off of another person's plate, they are to tell myself or my husband immediately, even if they are not quite sure what she ate (these little ones are fast!), even if it is "just a crumb,." We all know what"just a crumb" can do to our little ones' bodies.
For every gathering, we will determine who is a "safe person" for Bridget,and she will never be in a room without that person by her side. "Safepeople" will be fully aware of what to avoid and what to do in case of an accidental exposure. We will also determine if anyone at the gatheringcould be unsafe, meaning a person who (a) does not believe the FPIES diagnosis or (b) is careless and will not acknowledge our requests. There are fortunately very few people that we would consider to be in this category!
For every gathering, I will bring two dishes to share that are Bridget-safe and will be sure to have separate servings for Bridget, just in case of cross-contamination (i.e. someone uses the same serving spoon for Bridget's pie as they use for the chocolate cream pie. Yikes!)  I think it is important for others to try her foods, weird as that may seem.  I also think it is important for her to learn that even though her foods are different, we can still share them and they can still be appreciated by others. To further reduce the risk of cross contamination, we might try using utensils that are labeled.
For every gathering, there will be a box, decorated by Bridget (she is my little artist!), that contains safe treats. I don't want her to feel left out. She is little and won't understand why the other children can have something that she can't have. If there will be cookies, our box will have cookies too, for example. We will also have other snack foods and allergen-safe craft supplies (store bought play-doh, for instance, is not safe for us, so we make our own). I will decorate all of her "treats" in a holiday fashion too-- shaped cut-out cookies, frosting for her muffins in holiday colors, and so on. The box will also include at least one"back-up" sippy cup, plate, bowl and set of utensils. I can't tell you how many times another little one has mistakenly grabbed Bridget's sippy and take a swig. Having a clean, fresh cup has always been something I keep on hand.
For every gathering, there will be a separate ER bag ready and in a location known to Bridget's "safe people." We will know the route to the nearest ER and we will have appropriate documentation from her docs regarding her diagnosis and what the ER staff should do in case of a reaction. All insurance cards will be accessible, as will be a list of trigger foods and trigger medications.
And as for the fun. . .  When we are at gatherings with other children, I will plan some non-food related activities for all to enjoy. Holidays are often focused on food, but PI forces us to sometimes look beyond this focus and find alternate ways to celebrate, ways that are just as meaningful, or even more so. Simple games and craft projects can keep the kiddos busy and make those lasting memories for years to come!
It may sound complicated, but once everything is in order, it really isn't. And even if it does complicate the holidays, it is a means to an end--- the most important thing is for my big girl to have fun celebrating and enjoying the holidays like every other kid, without having to make an unexpected ER visit and without having to recover from a reaction while everyone else enjoys the festivities. That will truly be a reason in itself to let loose and celebrate!